Post by kraigeriginal on Jun 9, 2009 13:52:04 GMT -8
Shocking, I know - a serious post by Kraig. This (and other wonderfully remarkable ramblings) can be found on my weblog at qwkwit.blogspot.com
The truth is that we are all individuals. We have been told this from birth. I get it. It's a fact. Nobody is "just like me" - and my friends will agree on that. There have been times - sometimes a moment, sometimes weeks or months at a time - when I have wished I "was just like him" or "had the same _____ as her." Thankfully God never caved to my fleeting wishes.
What is great about being individuals is the ability to coalesce. According to Webster, that means "to grow together." SO the essence of coalescence is our individuality. What purpose would you and I getting together over coffee at St*rbucks (I don't get paid enough - at all - to mention any large corporations in this space) serve if I stated an idea and you simply mimicked me in agreement? It would merely serve the purpose of me feeling validated. But that is where it would end.
Enter your own unique personality. Perhaps I state the same idea and you think it's 80% worthwhile and 20% "needs improvement?" Whether I agree with your assessment or not, I'd be a fool not to consider your opinion and input. I SHOULD validate your existence as a [presumably decent, educated, well-thought-out, etc.] human being by acknowledging your thoughts and perhaps dwelling on them slightly before accepting or dismissing them.
Whether this happens or not isn't my point. My point is that it could. If we were not individuals with our own unique DNA and thoughts and experiences we would rarely, if ever, achieve any sort of improvement. Improvement would only come from the recognition of the cause of any instance of failure.
I do not always state my appreciation for someone's thoughts/opinions/criticism of me or my ideas. But the truth is I do almost always take them into consideration. I know from experience of having a girlfriend/best friend for 4 years who put up with me when I was the worst (secretly selfish, manipulative, power-thirsty, indulgent, jackass-ish) person I've ever been. She put up with me out of love and helped me see how my actions caused her pain. I learned that even by taking out my frustrations on myself (my anger would manifest itself in me attempting to hurt myself by punching lockers, walls, doors, my own chest or head - because I said I didn't feel the pain when I was angry, which was true at the time) I was still hurting her by association. Because she cared about me.
Her patience taught me many things. Imagine if she were just like me; putting up with me simply because she understood and felt the same way. Where would I be today? Exactly.
Sure, she met someone else, broke up with me, is married and happy. And I'm "alone" - but I'm still extremely grateful for the person I have learned to be because of what she invested in me.
I hope anyone who reads this would realize the impact that others can have on them and they on others. This pontification was borne out of my distaste of insults and the "I'm rubber, you're glue" mentality that so many people have (see: PRIDE) that builds shields around them.
I hope you are comfortable and open to the input of others, and hopefully they will return the favor.
The truth is that we are all individuals. We have been told this from birth. I get it. It's a fact. Nobody is "just like me" - and my friends will agree on that. There have been times - sometimes a moment, sometimes weeks or months at a time - when I have wished I "was just like him" or "had the same _____ as her." Thankfully God never caved to my fleeting wishes.
What is great about being individuals is the ability to coalesce. According to Webster, that means "to grow together." SO the essence of coalescence is our individuality. What purpose would you and I getting together over coffee at St*rbucks (I don't get paid enough - at all - to mention any large corporations in this space) serve if I stated an idea and you simply mimicked me in agreement? It would merely serve the purpose of me feeling validated. But that is where it would end.
Enter your own unique personality. Perhaps I state the same idea and you think it's 80% worthwhile and 20% "needs improvement?" Whether I agree with your assessment or not, I'd be a fool not to consider your opinion and input. I SHOULD validate your existence as a [presumably decent, educated, well-thought-out, etc.] human being by acknowledging your thoughts and perhaps dwelling on them slightly before accepting or dismissing them.
Whether this happens or not isn't my point. My point is that it could. If we were not individuals with our own unique DNA and thoughts and experiences we would rarely, if ever, achieve any sort of improvement. Improvement would only come from the recognition of the cause of any instance of failure.
I do not always state my appreciation for someone's thoughts/opinions/criticism of me or my ideas. But the truth is I do almost always take them into consideration. I know from experience of having a girlfriend/best friend for 4 years who put up with me when I was the worst (secretly selfish, manipulative, power-thirsty, indulgent, jackass-ish) person I've ever been. She put up with me out of love and helped me see how my actions caused her pain. I learned that even by taking out my frustrations on myself (my anger would manifest itself in me attempting to hurt myself by punching lockers, walls, doors, my own chest or head - because I said I didn't feel the pain when I was angry, which was true at the time) I was still hurting her by association. Because she cared about me.
Her patience taught me many things. Imagine if she were just like me; putting up with me simply because she understood and felt the same way. Where would I be today? Exactly.
Sure, she met someone else, broke up with me, is married and happy. And I'm "alone" - but I'm still extremely grateful for the person I have learned to be because of what she invested in me.
I hope anyone who reads this would realize the impact that others can have on them and they on others. This pontification was borne out of my distaste of insults and the "I'm rubber, you're glue" mentality that so many people have (see: PRIDE) that builds shields around them.
I hope you are comfortable and open to the input of others, and hopefully they will return the favor.
