"Why do we children of the light so easily become conspirators with the darkness? The answer is quite simple. Our identity, our sense of self, is at stake. Secularity is a way of being dependent on the responses of our milieu. The secular or false self is the self which is fabricated, as Thomas Merton says, by social compulsions. 'Compulsive' is indeed the best adjective for the false self. It points to the NEED FOR ONGOING AND INCREASING AFFIRMATION.
Who am I? I am the one who is liked, praised, admired, disliked, hated, or despised. Whether I am a pianist, a businessman, or a minister,
WHAT MATTERS IS HOW I AM PERCEIVED BY THE WORLD.
If being busy is a good thing, then I must be busy. If having money is a sign of real freedom,then I must claim my money. If knowing many people proves my importance, I will have to make the necessary contacts. The compulsion manifests itself in the
LURKING FEAR OF FAILING AND THE STEADY URGE TO PREVENT THIS BY GATHERING...
MORE WORK, MORE MONEY, MORE FRIENDS."
Henri Nouwen, from The Way of the Heart
PS: sorry for the capitals, but there are no bolds, so...
You’ve got your methods
I’m done with trying to guess all your moves
I’m going where you want me to go
I’ve got nothing left to lose
Now I don’t wanna suffer
But that’s in fact the nature of the beast
If you want to get to higher ground
You got to get there on your knees