Poem: What if?

[shirley]

I wrote a couple poems recently, first ones in a while. Here's one. Not sure if it's really any good, so...Criticism expected ;D and appreciated . Here goes...


What if?


I didn't know I'd been suicidal until I wasn't anymore
I used to think, what if? As I stood on the edge of a cliff.
And wondered what my life was really for?
I recall looking at the cars below on a passenger bridge
moving obliviously along to wherever they belonged.
What if I accidentally tripped – fell over the ledge?
I felt protected in my 1980 beast of steel
As I drove my car and rounded the curve or a swerve
in the road and wondered, what if I didn't turn the wheel?

What if?

I used to think these thoughts were normal
as I felt the pressure of the world, as it swirled
in my conflicted heart and mind of turmoil.
I knew somewhere deep down it must be true
that I had a lot to live for. Even if I wasn't sure -
suicide was an action I knew I couldn't undo.

One day I heard these sentiments reflected in a song
And I realized a decade has gone by since these thoughts haunted my mind
With so much to live for, they simply didn't belong.
I began to wonder, were they really common, as I once had thought.
Does everyone really think like this, about stepping into the abyss?
Or were those suicidal feelings I had fought?
So I've pondered these thoughts I'd kept hidden.
If my mind had stalled, could I have let myself fall?
Could these dark thoughts return unbidden?

Could they?

I didn't know at the time what my heart was fighting
That my soul had been hijacked, my mind attacked,
Not knowing how my world needed righting
I didn't know that there was love and happiness to treasure
If I left behind my narrow life of brainwashed strife
And embraced a wonder beyond all measure
Now I smile at my son in the rear-view mirror - elation
And I show my friends the passenger bridge of my hometowns ridge
And gaze over the edge of the cliff at God's imagination.

And there are no ifs.
No ifs.


-Shirley Diprofio
May 2012

[Josh]

That is freakin' amazing. You have a gift, Shirley.

And also I think a particular calling to take your past experiences and bring light out of darkness.

Makes me think of 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

[rose]

Wow, Shirley, very well done. Thanks for sharing. And the verses Josh posted are some of my very favorites. God uses the tough places we've been and the difficult experiences we've had to truly help others with similar struggles.

And I don't think you should expect criticism on a poem you wrote (unless you specifically ask someone)...it's your artistic expression...and I think it's beautiful!

[robin]

Very moving Shirley, thanks for sharing.

[stevekimes]

Great Shirley. That's a powerful poem. I'd like to share it with others.

[shirley]

Thanks for all the positive words everyone.
Josh - those are really good verses. Thank you.
Rose - Criticism is Okay
Steve - That's fine.