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Post by Margot on Dec 8, 2008 16:10:43 GMT -8
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I told my high schooler that I thought he should stick to a certain dollar amount in buying family Christmas presents.
"That's not enough!" he protested. "I need to spend more than that! He looked over his list. "The present I was going to get (Delicate Flower) is $20.00! That doesn't leave enough for everyone else!!"
He knitted his brows in concentration.
"I haven't got a lot of money in the bank right now," he said slowly. "Maybe I should try to get a part-time job..."
What would Jesus do?
What about what does Jesus think?
Do you wonder what He thinks about the way we agonize over what to buy each other for His birthday? Who to buy for, what to buy, how and when can we get it-- (getting the most for our money, of course.) The thoughts that consume our waking moments and tie us in knots from November to December.
Will this gift be enough? Too much? What if I'm teaching my kids to be greedy? What if I don't buy enough to make them happy--or measure up to the other kids in their class?
Will this gift really show I care? Will this accidently reveal that I don't ? Maybe worst of all: will it show that I really care more than they've realized? What will I do if it turns out to be more, or less, than they are giving me?
What have we done?
I like giving and receiving at Christmas just as much as the next person. In fact, I'd go so far as to say I believe God is pleased when I pick out a gift that brings happiness to the heart of the person receiving it.
But look at this mess have we created.
It's a roadmap of emotional payoffs and paybacks. By Christmas Day, we'll have everything but time and energy to think about the One who gave us the reason for a holiday.
For a Holy Day.
Jesus was born to die for our sins, not to send us into a frenzy for the four weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
We are so quick to pounce on non-believers because of their materialism. What about the attitudes of our hearts?
I don't know about you, but I think I still have a long way to go.
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Post by Josh on Dec 9, 2008 17:48:54 GMT -8
I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I feel like I'm failing.
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Post by christopher on Dec 9, 2008 21:01:03 GMT -8
Ah c'mon...you don't have to teach kids to be greedy, they already are by nature. It's something they need to be untaught. But whatsa matter with a little bit Christmas fun for the kids if it's not overboard? I think there does come a time however to admit that it's kids stuff and focus on the important things of the season. Denice and I don't buy gifts for each other. It's a tremendous load off our backs and relief not to stress about such things. We've also got our family to agree to do the white elephant thing with a modest max so there's only 1 present to buy. It really leaves a lot of the rat race out of the season (though not all of it). Like Lucy says: "Everyone knows Christmas is just a big commercial racket. I hear it's owned by a big Eastern syndicate" I used to struggle with the same things. But honestly, I've grown to love the fact that our kids look forward to Christmas for what they get. The feeling of joy they get from receiving is a great object lesson in teaching them (over time of course) the unmatchable gift we received from God through Christ.
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Post by Margot on Dec 9, 2008 22:46:54 GMT -8
I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I feel like I'm failing. ~Failing to teach them to be greedy?? ;D (Sorry, I couldn't resist...) Remember the verses about how every good father wants his children to have good things? Seems like pretty good evidence to me that it's a Godly inclination. I agree with Christopher--the heart of man seems to take care of greediness quite well on its own, without any encouragement needed. ~I'm curious about what makes you think you're failing.
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Post by Josh on Dec 10, 2008 20:41:47 GMT -8
Try as I might, my son just keeping thinking of others before himself No, what I meant was that I see the tendency in him that I had and probably most kids have that no matter how much they get they always want a little bit more- and so the celebration of a good gift gets lost in the greed of the rush of temporary excitement at something novel. I feel like I haven't been doing enough "direct instruction" about this to him, though, as I recall from my childhood, I'm not sure how much that ever really helped quell the insatiable desire to constantly add to my enormous collection of GI Joe figures. Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself though. We try to hold a line between spoiling and scrooge, maybe that's enough and the rest is just normal. Upon further reflection, however, I must say that all the Veggie Tales Christmas movies are getting to Justus. He has on numerous occasions mentioned the "real meaning of Christmas". Good learning even at 5.
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Post by Margot on Dec 11, 2008 15:41:48 GMT -8
I feel like I haven't been doing enough "direct instruction" about this to him, though, as I recall from my childhood, I'm not sure how much that ever really helped quell the insatiable desire to constantly add to my enormous collection of GI Joe figures. --Gotta love that direct instruction I remember feeling the same when my daughter was that age. Interestingly enough, a lot of it turned out to be developmental. At almost 20 it turns out she is nothing like the selfish little beast we feared she would be, and is actually very loving and giving!! Who knew??!! I seem to remember modelling being a big key for her. However, I also found out, (a little too late,) that her set of learning differences were also holding her back in a lot of ways. I know this might sound a little vague or kooky to people, but ask me when you see me at church and I would be glad to expand on it more . Kinda hard to communicate in written form. Hang tough, Dad!
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Post by michelle on Dec 11, 2008 16:18:26 GMT -8
We've also got our family to agree to do the white elephant thing with a modest max so there's only 1 present to buy. It really leaves a lot of the rat race out of the season (though not all of it). Can you come do a presentation at my family Christmas? I tried to get them to buy into (no pun intended) to doing the drawing the names out of a hat thing (we have 7 adults and 1 child in our family) and heard the response "that's not as much fun". I like Christmas less and less each year because of this pressure to buy great presents for people. I think it only makes things worse because nobody else in my family is a Christian, so it's not like there's this message Christ's birth that gets discussed. It seriously feels like it's all about the presents.
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Post by christopher on Dec 11, 2008 21:22:20 GMT -8
Hi Michelle,
I feel for you. I know exactly what that's like. I've tried the hat drawing thing also before and to be quite honest, I agree with your family....it isn't as fun. But the white elephant thing is definitely fun (who doesn't get a kick out of having your mother-in-law "steal" a present from you ;D ). I'm sure there's a wrong message being communicated in there somewhere, but we don't let the kids in on that game. It's usually done after they got their loot.
Anyway, different traditions for different fams I guess. I hope it all works out for you and you're able to find some enjoyment in spite of all that.
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Post by meghan on Dec 13, 2008 0:10:02 GMT -8
What I am seeing within my close family is really a sense of buying or making something you really think the person would enjoy. My family is making things and buying secondhand and really taking the time to know about each person and what they might enjoy.
I read aloud a chapter book to my five year old niece, and the movie (The tale of Despereaux) is coming out this Christmas, so when she is in town I am taking her on a date to see it. I bought my three year old niece two picture books, one that has a character I know she loves, and one about a little girl who is attached to her comfort object (as my niece is with her blankie). I am also giving them a huge present that cost me nothing, but they will adore. A few months ago my brother was looking around on my computer and I noted his interest in a certain band, etc.
It is so fun to watch my parents be absolutely amazing thrift store shoppers and to know what people in our family would like.
With this, the gift giving seems to be more about the person than the gift. I am enjoying this shift.
I remember when my first niece was born, and was younger, and how we constantly got her things, and I think as she became a toddler, she got to be expecting presents. I think we've stopped that now, and it's a relief. I also think the constant whisperings from parents of "wow.. that is such a cool present," even for the small things, makes a big difference.
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Post by Josh on Dec 22, 2008 21:42:09 GMT -8
Meghan, Margot, Chris, Michelle:
Rose showed me this link which I think is pretty cool. Reminded me of our conversation here. Have you seen it?
Oh, and have any of you felt a lot less "consumerism" and "hustle and bustle" this year due to being snowed in? I was just thinking that I'm really appreciating that.
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Post by meghan on Dec 22, 2008 23:23:59 GMT -8
Yeah. I've heard of Advent Conspiracy before. I don't think I've felt a change because all of my Christmas stuff was done a week before the first snow came. All I'm feeling right now is "bummer... my parents' presents are at my house, and I'm with them", but of course that doesn't matter. They will get their presents at some point. Right now I am spending A LOT of time with them I don't do much hustle and bustle at Christmas, but then again I'm single and don't have my own house. So I don't decorate, I don't bake, I don't do a lot of those traditional things. I don't have a to do list.
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Post by Margot on Dec 23, 2008 0:03:18 GMT -8
My daughter made an interesting point yesterday that amongst her friends who don't know the Lord and just go whole hog into the consumerism thing, this is shaping up to be a pretty miserable Christmas.
You start out with an economy where everyone is pinching pennies and you throw in an endless snowstorm that is holding up not just the purchasing and delivering of presents, but the possibility of travel to anywhere fun. If those are the things that have always defined Christmas for you, there's not much left to celebrate.
It made me resolve to try to share as much Truth as possible with others while I go around doing my Christmas errands. This week, more than any other time, they might be primed to listen.
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Post by christopher on Dec 23, 2008 10:36:06 GMT -8
I like the message of the video and I agree with the emphasis on relationships and giving of yourself and thinking of others. That's great. I also watched the one with the guy from Imago Dei just talking in front of his house.
But to be honest, it doesn't compel me to change anything our family does about Christmas. I get the same sense from this video I get when I hear "for just pennies a day" or "for the price of a latte...you could save the world" from other organizations that have similar projects they are trying to promote. Don't get me wrong, I think the project they're doing is a worthy one and it needs to be promoted (throughout the year, not just Christmas time). And maybe using Christmas consumerism is a good way to get people to channel some of that money to their project. I don't know.
But again, I've given up on the notion that buying gifts for the kiddies at Christmas time somehow dishonors Jesus or sends the wrong message, as long as it's not overboard. And definitely don't stress out about it.
The truth is, yes, we will forget all the presents in 6 months. But I've found that the same is true for projects we support. We've done this in the past (giving to charitable orgs in someone's name in leiu of gifts) and I honestly couldn't recount the charities we gave to if my life depended on it. However, I do know that they were projects every bit as worthy as this one.
The magic of presents for kids is that it adds an anticipatory element to Christmas for them that will carry on throughout their lives and solidify a fondness for Christmas. It's not about the stuff, it's about the anticipation of good gifts. The same kind of anticipation we have when we think of our "advent" into God's presence.
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Post by Josh on Dec 23, 2008 22:39:28 GMT -8
Oh, I agree with you Chris about gift-giving.
But I am glad personally that we've as a family moved away from spending so much money at the holidays. It doesn't take much to generate excitement, as you pointed out, and the money is much better used elsewhere.
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Post by Margot on Dec 24, 2008 10:56:18 GMT -8
The truth is, yes, we will forget all the presents in 6 months. But I've found that the same is true for projects we support. We've done this in the past (giving to charitable orgs in someone's name in leiu of gifts) and I honestly couldn't recount the charities we gave to if my life depended on it. However, I do know that they were projects every bit as worthy as this one. ---This is a very intersting spin! I need to think more about this. The magic of presents for kids is that it adds an anticipatory element to Christmas for them that will carry on throughout their lives and solidify a fondness for Christmas. It's not about the stuff, it's about the anticipation of good gifts. The same kind of anticipation we have when we think of our "advent" into God's presence. I totally agree with the magic/anticipation/solidifying Christmas fondness viewpoint. It's been exciting to see this played out in our home with our kids being older. They definitely get into the present thing, but it's strongly backed up by the whole reason we celebrate. It's a great thing to see the balance they've struck here. Personally, I feel strongly that it is great fun to unwrap and unveil ANYTHING you are given, (great spiritual implications here for me.) As a result, our kids have always been excited at the beauty of the tree and wrappings themselves, (again, anticipatory.) Many years they've been thrilled to unwrap lots and lots of "little things " that they realize were small, but chosen very deliberately for them. (Yes, this actually started when they were very small, so all things are possible with God ) -Had to laugh at your last comment, though, Josh----Paul's goal is that we would, as a family, move TOWARD spending a lot more at Christmas--probably specifically on him
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Post by meghan on Dec 24, 2008 16:19:05 GMT -8
I believe in celebrating Christmas, and I have no problem with giving and getting gifts, but in my mind, currently, I'm trying to figure out the difference between how WE as a culture have decided to celebrate Christmas and how we really should. I mean, so much of what we do is because of "tradition", but does that tradition come from the Bible or our culture? I think we know the answer.
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Post by rose on Dec 26, 2008 23:07:24 GMT -8
Hi Michelle, But the white elephant thing is definitely fun (who doesn't get a kick out of having your mother-in-law "steal" a present from you ;D ). Well, I have to say that yesterday my mother-in-law ended up trading white elephant gifts with me after the game was over because she knew how much I loved the present she got (and the trade was definitely uneven - she got my garage car parking sensor (my father-in-law was happy about that!). Kudos to Coco! ;D I totally appreciate where we've gone as a family as well (I know Josh already mentioned this), and I was really impressed with Justus this Christmas. He was really patient when schedules changed due to weather (he had to wait 3 extra days to open his first round of presents), and he wasn't jumping to the next present before he even finished unwrapping the previous gift. I never heard any ungrateful remarks or greedy statements. It was a nice change and I can tell he's getting older (and wiser ). Now Riley on the other hand (at 2 1/2 going on 13) she was not happy to wait her turn (we were going around the room, each taking one turn) and as she opened one she was asking about the next one. And that next one better be some type of make-up! She was incredulous! Josh - I think she's needing some "direct instruction"!
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